I have a bit of battery on the ol laptop right now so I wanted to vent a little bit...forgive me.
First of all, we are safe, and we have a home. We are without power and surrounded by sadness that I can not express.
I am struggling with not only lack of patience, a broken heart, freezing to the bone, and a sick child...but I am struggling with sadness over loss of places...loss of places where family gathered, where family felt safe and happy, places where I had my first date with my husband, places where I took my baby to swim in the ocean for the first time, places I used to go to for peace.
I didn't know these feelings of sadness existed.
Sure, I had seen people loosing their lives on the news before.
Sure, I am grateful that I am alive and my whole family is safe.
I assure you it is not the loss of the "stuff" that is making me so stinken sad, its the loss of places that hold very special memories to me that is making me so so stinken sad. Its the fact that people that I love so very much have lost everything and do not have a home anymore...
As I am literally screaming at my 3-year old during a ride home from a grocery store breakdown when this song came on the radio.
This song was a direct message from God to not harm my child. It was. No doubt about it.
You can think I am a bad mom. That is okay because in that time I was a bad mom. I was so mad, I was so tired, I was so over the whole mess that we now live in that I was screaming at my baby.
I am thankful for a God that still reals me in. I will choose to praise Him in this storm.
Thank you for listening to the vent...now if you too are going through stuff please choose to praise Him in the storm. He knows just what you need and will carry you. I just need to be carried today, hugging my heavenly father as he carries me...Do you?