Oceans.

Happy Monday y'all!

I am obsessed with this song. THIS message will carry you through your week lovely people!

Restless

I posted a bit back about Restless & IF: Gathering.

I am telling you. All of this is just getting more and more exciting!

For those of you seeking; as I am. There is now a daily devotional that was birthed out of IF. It has been so nice to have a place to go daily.

IF: Equip

& now; there is a Restless online book club! 

For those of us that have a hard time being vulnerable in public; especially with other women that you think totally have their lives together (hand STRAIGHT UP in the air), and for those of us that can't get a sitter to actually go to a book club even if we wanted, for those of us that have never been to an actual book club, & for those of us that want to start a book club but are unsure if they REALLY want to commit…THIS is perfect!

Check it out would ya?

I keep hearing this common tension among women. It's funny because we are a generation that is so advantaged. We have more than our parents have … most of us have more schooling, bigger houses, we have every privilege, luxury even, and advantage. We've been given so much and we are so blessed, and yet I keep hearing over and over, "I'm restless. I don't know what it is, I don't know what more I could possibly want, what am I missing? How could I still feel at all dissatisfied with this happy beautiful life that I have been given?

Jen Hatmaker - preface to Restless

"As I stared at the ceiling, I saw scrape marks. Right after we had moved into our first house, Zac, my husband, scraped off the popcorn-textured ceiling. You'd think that would be something you'd never really notice, the ceiling, but it was something I stared at every afternoon. I stared as my newborn son slept. I had nowhere to be. Nothing to do.

I would lie on my beige sofa and stare at the marks that had been left in, trying to make something perfect of it. And in the quiet, surrounded by everything I thought I'd ever wanted, I felt like everything I'd ever wanted was strangling me."

Restless...

Man oh man, have I felt that! I still do somedays. Completely strangled. Why?? Well, pretty sure its because God has more out there for me! The beauty of this book is that it; along with a pretty amazing group of women that are taking this journey with me is that I am going to figure it out.

What if the things I; you loved to do collided with the plans God has laid out for us to do!?

Pretty sure He loves us that much people.

Pretty sure he loves us enough that if we choose to follow Him our lives our not going to be boring and miserable. He gave us passions for a reason. He gave us dreams for a reason!

Happy Thursday everyone!

HE loves us.

Today I am thankful for perfect love.

I am thankful that He was born to die for me so that I could be with Him forever and ever.

I am thankful that His love never disappoints.

I am thankful that I am truly free in His love.

Oh, how he loves us people.

How amazing!

Happy Valentines Day!

Oh, Monday...

You know how I know that God is moving? He gave one woman a vision 7-years ago and this weekend over 30,000 (I do not even know the final numbers, pretty sure they are well above 30k) woman gathered live in Austin, TX & locally in their homes, churches and workplaces to hear what God wanted Jennie to share.

Also, I know that the messages that our pastor, the book I am soaking up each night & the powerful messages that each of the woman at the conference this last weekend have COLLIDED!! These messages have collided and at moments I do feel like I have been in a physical car WRECK as my muscles are sore and my heart hurts, yet at the same time my heart and soul are overflowing with divine peace, excitement and urges for more of Jesus!

Folks; I did not want to go to this conference on Friday night. The week prior was rough. I screamed at my daughter daily, I was a horrible mommy and it had me down. I was tired & by 5PM Friday I wanted to get in my sweats and sit on the couch with a glass of wine. (lets be honest here) I prayed, I dragged myself to the church up the street & I prayed some more.

The only person that could carry me through this AMAZING 2-days with the amount of struggle that was going on in my head, in my heart, in my body is Jesus.

Now; what will I do with all of this on my heart? Yikes(!!); that is one heck of a mission for this Monday morning!

Here are some glimpses into the weekend at IF

I just loved how this lovely lady put what she gathered from the weekend into words:

Hebrews12:1-2 (MSG)

Do you see what this means…all of these pioneers who blazed the way, all these veterans cheering us on? It means we'd better get on with it. Strip down, start running…and NEVER quit! No extra spiritual fat, no parasitic sins. Keep your eyes on Jesus, who both began and finished this race that we are in. Study how he did it. Because he never lost sight of where he was headed…that exhilarating finish in and with God…he could put put up with anything along the way: Cross, shame, whatever. And now he's there, in the place of honor, right alongside God. When you find yourselves flagging in your faith, go over that story again, item by item, that long litany of hostility he plowed through. THIS will shoot adrenaline into your souls!

This verse was a thread that ran through the weekend. I do love how God compared life to a race. He knew what life was like. He knew there were times that it would be easy, that there were times that we would feel out of breath, that there were times that we literally would think our lungs were on fire, that there were times that we would not feel our legs and times that we would HAVE to sit on the sidelines…

BUT if we keep our eyes on Him... we can do this people. 

Lets run this messy race together. We do not need to have our act together. We do not need to have our lives perfect before God, we do not need to have all of the laundry done, the dishes but away, the meals planned, or the children bathed! All of that is in fact a PART of our race. Our race is in which attitude and to whom are we really doing all of the messy things for?!

I will start with loving the heck out of God, I will ask Him to help me love His creation; me & I will continue to beg Him to help me see others as He does and love the heck out of them.

The link to parts of the IF:Gathering can be found HERE. They will only be up until midnight TONIGHT. Check it out if you wish. You will want to start with the video at the bottom of the page and work your way up. Buckle up. (do not say I didn't warn you)

Happy Monday everyone. Love you!

Digging out.

I realize I have not been here in a bit so lets do some catch up!

Please excuse my soul searching in this post; but Gods gotta do what Gods gotta do! ;)

I am desperately trying to life a life on purpose otherwise I am one floundering mama, wife, friend, sister, daughter…Lets face it when my eyes are on Him life just makes so much more sense & even in the midst of life making NO sense whatsoever the peace is still there.

Thankfully in the last few weeks I have found some awesome resources to help me along the way.

What I want to read:

What a cool bible study! Restless is on my book wish list.

What I am reading: 

My soul is drinking this up!

Chasing God

Where I am going:

Kinda a full circle sorta thing. Jennie Allen, whom I found a few weeks ago led me to the Angie Smith book and then both of these ladies led me to this IF: GATHERING happening TONIGHT & TOMORROW!
I am headed out (solo) to a church up the street tonight to see what God has to share with me.

 What are you all up to this weekend?

What are your struggles, what are some of the resources have you found along the way to pull yourself up?

It was a pancake sorta day.

It just was.

The weather is still cold. My standby pancake recipe is thanks to Fanny Farmer:

3/4 cup milk (I use almond milk)

2 Tbs melted butter

1 egg

1 cup brown rice flour

2 tsp baking powder

1 tsp honey

Food is comforting to me, cooking is comforting to me…hence my jeans size but oh well. It has just been one of those weeks. I will explain in a later post.

In the mean time HAPPY Thursday everyone!

Reason to ponder…& give thanks...

I just read this.

What a GREAT reminder.

I just drank this:

I just listened to this:

It has been on repeat in our car.

*Thankful heart*

New to the breakfast lineup:

This my friends is what I had for breakfast & it was divine!

A scoop of old fashioned oats, a scoop of dried cranberries, a sliced banana, almonds, chia seeds, dried coconut & almond milk!

This breakfast actually got me through a large majority of my day. Powerhouse breakfast. :)

Happy Thursday everyone!

Cauliflower Steak goodness

I am trying to blog more of my food creations along my "eating clean" journey. The other night I made cauliflower steaks atop grilled salmon burgers and baby kale drizzled with a little black truffle oil.

It was amazing! (& Lilly loved it too!)

It may have to go into the official dinner lineup once Ryan returns home. You see; I get to try all of these questionable creations while he is traveling. If they pass the Lilly test they are entered into the lineup. haha!

If you are interested in giving this easy peasy recipe a whirl here are a few shots to help you along the way. 

Take your cauliflower head; de-stem it & rinse it well under some water.

Preheat the ol' oven to a steamy 425.

Head over to the cutting board and start slicing some sorta thick slices. You should get at least three good ones out of a head. Some parts will crumble; save em for some cauliflower mashers another night. :)

Place them on a baking sheet. Drizzle with olive oil.

I sprinkled mine with a dash of sea salt, garlic powder, pepper & paprika. Feel free to mess around with your seasonings depending on what you are serving with your cauliflower steaks.

Throw these bad boys into the oven for 15-minutes, take out flip and oil & season the other side. Place back in the oven for another 15-minutes just until tender and amazing!

Again, you can serve these so many ways but I placed mine atop raw baby kale & a grilled salmon burger. I am getting hungry...

My mother-in-law turned me onto this amazing stuff and now I use it with everything!

I drizzled this all over this little creation.

ENJOY!!

Hope y'all are having a good week!!

A little catch up. December pics.

We had a lovely December and were able to spend it in the Bay Area with some family.

As you can tell I am trying to get back into my groove.

I knew some of you would appreciate some pics. Most of them are not the best quality since they were taken with my phone but you will get the idea. ;)

Lilly getting herself situated in her seat on the plane as her and I set out on our cross country adventure.

My adorable little sister was expecting her first baby upon our arrival so the first week was spent primping! Lilly sure does like to get her pedicure on. PINK toes; of course. 

 Lilly's main squeeze. Would you look at Macie's face?!

Macie getting cozy with my brother. The dog looks thrilled here.

It is true love! Yes, the dog is wearing her Christmas sweater & she loved it.

There was way too much video game playing in my opinion. hehe BUT Lilly loved it.

Here is my adorbs little sister trying to walk this baby out at the zoo. Sure enough that very night She went into labor!

My girl loving the Oakland zoo!

Meet Miss Violet Juliana!! I am one heck of a proud auntie.

Isn't she beautiful?

Love her & miss her tons already!!!!!!!!

The celebratory champs:

Our favorite Christmas present of all...

We did have a quick beach run too...

which in turn brought me much…

;)

Hope y'all had a lovely holiday season & you are hanging in there this January!

School is back in session (Thank you Jesus)!

My little girl is beyond excited that school is finally back in session. I on the other hand; given the temperature outside (7 degrees) do NOT want to leave the house golly dang it! One of the reasons we moved to Raleigh was for the mild winters and this is not what I was anticipating.

Also, I shipped all of our jackets from California to save room in our suitcase. Who is the awesome mom that has NO winter coats for my daughter to wear? I had to run to target and get a cheapy, ugly down jacket bc that's all that is left on the racks when all of the spring clothes are coming out already. Yikes!

Anyways…here is a pic of my happy girl:

...no judgeie judgie about the mess you see in the background HA!…I am playing catch up around here. ;)

Back on the wagon

After 2-months of fun holiday food splurges I am getting back on the clean eating wagon.

The jeans are a little tight and I am feeling quite sluggish.

Breakfast is easy for me. I generally make a piece of sprouted toast with some butter and a tall glass of chilled lemon water. Lunch on the other hand has ALWAYS been a struggle.

Last year I bought the Crazy Sexy Kitchen cookbook and this recipe is one of my favs!

Curried Nada-egg with Watercress Wraps

I serve it on a spinach wrap and top with sprouts. Our Whole Foods have the best sunflower sprouts. Would you look at these ladies? Yummy!

This makes a lot & will get you through the whole week. You can either use a gluten free cracker to scoop some up for a snack or load a wrap full of this stuff and top with a bunch of veggies. All good!

Here is the recipe:

2 packages of extra firm tofu

3/4 c. Veganaise

3 Tbs. green onions

1/4 c grated carrots

1/4 c chopped celery

3 Tbs chopped parsley

3 Tbs chopped cilantro

3 Tbs nutritional yeast

1 Tbs Dijon mustard 

11/2 Tbs curry powder

dash of salt and pepper

1. crumble tofu in a bowl with a fork (make sure you drain the tofu and blot it a bit with a paper bowl to get the majority of the moisture out).

2. Add Veganaise, green onions, carrot, parsley, cilantro, nutritional yeast, Dijon, curry powder, salt & pepper. Mix thoroughly. 

3. Place generous amounts on wrap and top with veggies. I like to add sprouts and spinach or kale to mine.

Enjoy!

The soft whisper of a new year...

With each year we hear endless "New Year resolutions". I hesitate to make one. I will somehow let myself down creating yet another thing to beat myself up over. There are however whispers of things that I should indeed make a conscious effort to work on or change for the new year. This could in fact be the start of a very exciting chapter of my life; who knows! 

I want to be more present.

I want to continue to worry less.

I want to connect; really connect with people.

I want to be less negative.

I want to paint more.

I want to stop questioning if I am "enough" & focus on who I was created to be. (Isn't that where we are most happy anyway?)

I want to do more yoga.

I want to drink more water.

I want to garden more.

I want to be out doors more.

I want to encourage more.

I want to speak love and positivity into peoples lives more.

I want to breath deeply…more.

I want to read more.

I want to be used as a vessel do do more; more good in this world.

I read this post the other day and thought; "What a great challenge. I need to do this." It is at work in my heart and I pray something will come of it. I think it will be a good challenge for the new year. We will see.

Lets calm the static and do something. 

Happy New Year everyone!

Food for the soul.

You know those times in your life when you feel that you are literally loosing it and you need your batteries charged emotionally?

I was like beyond there Friday & I was sobbing to my husband that I needed time to connect with women and I guess I was just lonely. Lilly broke down crying saying "Why are you always mad at me Mommy?" within 15-minutes of this conversation. Best wife & mother award goes to: ME?!

Then I read this blog post and lost it even more. (Yes, that was possible.)

BUT within hours this happened:

A few dear soul sisters came into town for the whole weekend and I feel refreshed! The batteries are charged. 

God is good!

This is amazing grace...

It is just one of those days that I am in awe of my amazing God.

I am in awe of the amazing grace that he has given me; for free.

I am in awe of my salvation and the peace that it brings me if I really sit and think about it.

I am in awe of the freedom that I have in Him, the love that He has for me, and the beauty that surrounds me that he created for me; for you.

I was reading Genesis chapter 1 to Lilly the other day. Have you read a children's Bible before? I had; like forever ago. Until the other day I had not thought about how I may prefer it over my "adult" NIV because of the sheer simplicity of the writing. I need simplicity. Gods goodness is simple, His love is simple. We need only accept it.

If you are getting through a week that may be becoming complex please take a moment and watch this video & open up the word. He created this beautiful world for us to enjoy. Go outside, look up, breathe in the fall air. Be thankful.

I know this is a song that is often sang at funerals; but since we are talking grace I thought I would post the lyrics. I think its a song we should sing more often.

Have you ever really read them? Gods grace is amazing!

Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound,
That saved a wretch like me....
I once was lost but now am found,
Was blind, but now, I see.

T'was Grace that taught...
my heart to fear.
And Grace, my fears relieved.
How precious did that Grace appear...
the hour I first believed.

Through many dangers, toils and snares...
we have already come.
T'was Grace that brought us safe thus far...
and Grace will lead us home.

The Lord has promised good to me...
His word my hope secures.
He will my shield and portion be...
as long as life endures.

When we've been here ten thousand years...
bright shining as the sun.
We've no less days to sing God's praise...
then when we've first begun.

Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound,
That saved a wretch like me....
I once was lost but now am found,
Was blind, but now, I see.

Thankful we are finally healthy!

First of all, welcome to the recently face-lifted blog! I needed a change and it came out adorable thanks to Kotryna over at KotrynaBass Design!

The radio silence has been in part to the fact that this house has been so sick for the last few weeks! We are finally getting back to normal! We are healthy, we are sassy, we are back in school and I am in full decorating for the holidays mode!

Here is a glance into our life this Monday morning:

Fresh coffee and silly faces. Love.

Target sucked me right in and made me purchase boxes and boxes of white Christmas lights and this adorbs JOY marquee light. I am thinking its final home will be on the mantle. For now, because I have no patients and I had to see it. Bookcase it is.

Here I go. I can not help myself & rest assured these lights will be all over the house until we move.

PS The new seasonal soap flavor I can not get enough of: Method Cinnamon Vanilla. Heaven!

I AM SO GLAD we are healthy! Thank you Lord. Now, lets pray we stay healthy through the holidays! 

Speaking of which...

How the heck did it get to be mid-November? We are hosting Thanksgiving in the new Raleigh digs and I am a bit overwhelmed with my ideas for Thanksgiving.

There will be turkey, there will be mashed potatoes, there will be wine and there will be family. Check, check, check, check & check. Thanks to Pinterest I am having to narrow down the decoration ideas floating around in my head. What fun!

What are you all up to for Thanksgiving??